The purpose of this online community accountability forum is to support participants in developing new habits of thinking and behaviour, especially in these two areas:
Your daily updates and meetings simply provide a structure to support doing this.
You made a number of promises that are written on your personal profile page on this hidden blog. These included: not telling people what you think they should do; not giving advice; not coaching or “motivating” others, etc.
The meeting structure gives people an opportunity to be acknowledged for the promises that they did or did not keep each week. The purpose is to reinforce (or make alive) the habit of honouring our promises and commitments by allowing people time to share what it was like keeping their promises. Those who didn’t keep their promises are also acknowledged for telling the truth, etc, BUT the meeting format does not allow for them to speak about their experience with, or reasons for, NOT keeping a promise.
As a reminder, the meetings are not intended for counselling, fixing, coaching, motivating or giving advice. If someone in particular feels they need additional help not specifically related to the Team Leadership Habit Mastery Program (e.g. referral to a time-management seminar, therapist, counsellor etc. ), this should be done outside of the meetings/program. And again, in an ideal world, it is best that no advice for outside support be given to anyone (during the 30 day program) unless the participant is the one who initiates the request for such outside support.
A Reminder about Counselling and Sticking to the Program
Many of us have been trained, taught, or are most comfortable when we try to counsel, advise, help or motivate others. Such training and skills are highly valuable but are detrimental to the success of your Team Leadership Habit Mastery program. Here’s why: Using these processes/skills within this particular group tends to unintentionally invoke some members of the group to focus on their what’s wrong-bad-negative thinking, and it often occurs to them that you are trying to “fix” them—even when that is not your attention. Please know that it is definitely not our intention to invalidate you, or your counselling or therapeutic expertise!
The Leadership Habit Mastery Programs are simply about supporting people in developing the habit of creating empowering meanings (thinking) about what’s right-good-positive in themselves, the world, and others (no matter what the circumstances), and to also master the behaviour habit of honouring their promises and commitments. It’s not about group (or individual) therapy or counselling. That’s why it is absolutely critical that you stick to the structure as closely as possible.
Once again, the traditional problem-fixing approach is useful for many people, but in this program, we don’t want to risk stimulating anyone’s default wrong-bad-negative thinking. Doing so could result in people invalidating themselves, or feeling bad. That’s why we’ve designed the program this way—to help people feel better inside by choosing their thinking and keeping their promises. We’ve also noticed that such participants prefer to slip into their familiar role of mother/counsellor/therapist, as a way to avoid being responsible for keeping their own promises and commitments to the program. Thanks for trusting us - and thanks for understanding!