We shape our own lives. Our choices are ultimately our own responsibility. Getting rid of the victim mentality, and learning the Power of Choice, is a key to changing your life.
Blaming, complaining and victim-hood are the root of self-sabotage. We use our compulsions to distract us from the things that we blame and complain about.
In life, stuff happens, then we make it mean something. People with the most self-destructive habits all share a core belief that there is something fundamentally wrong with them. That they are broken.
Even people that grow up in perfect homes in perfect circumstances will find a way to self-destructive habits, if they want to escape this core belief that something is wrong with them.
One of the difficulties with treating destructive habits is that we tend to replace one with another. Drinking habits are replaced with smoking. Smoking is replaced by overeating. This is the main downfall of traditional 12-step programs.
This is an example from my own life, which I have found to be the root of all my self-destructive habits. See how the meaning we ascribe to things that happen lead us to thinking that something is wrong with us.
You can’t keep on pointing out everything that’s wrong. All that does is perpetuate the problem. What you need to do is acknowledge and reward any steps in the right direction.
We all have unwanted habits. You constantly talk to yourself about not doing it, which makes you want to do it more. Instead, constantly look for opportunities to acknowledge what’s right.
Does Religion or Christianity have a place in this discussion? How important is the role of religion when talking about self-destructive habits?